Learning about Indian Weddings

My physical therapist is an Indian woman from New Delhi. After about two months of very very intimate treatment, we developed a pretty cool relationship. Today we were talking about marriages and she shed light on her own experience with an arranged marriage. Her particular story is that she was born in India to an affluent family, came to SF for college/grad school and at the age of 27 she decided to let her parents help find her a husband. Nita stated that the process took about one year and she went on several dates. If both folks like each other online, they skype or chat, then go on a date, then the parents have to meet and make sure they like each other. I thought that was an amazing step that probably prevents alot of divorce! Nita met her husband, got engaged two months later, and then went to India and got married two months after that. She was completely open to me asking numerous questions and dispelling the myths and western stereotypes regarding arranged marriages. These are some things I learned.

• In New Delhi, the bride is sponsored by her family, they also pay for an incredibly extravagant wedding
• Average wedding in India lasts 7 days. Yes, 7 days.
•  Arranged marriages that were decided from birth is very outdated in Indian culture. Arranged marriages are basically like dating online! There are websites dedicated entirely to an arranged marriage for Indian folks. 
• Caste is still relevant and "status" is asked on nearly all the sites and it is an important factor in dating (no one wants to date below them)
• There are two types of marriages: arranged marriages and "love marriages" 
• After the wedding, the bride is expected to live with her new husbands family anywhere from a few weeks to a few years
• Brides don't plan their weddings. The scope of their choice is the color dress and the jewelry. Her parents decide and plan everything else.
• Indian weddings seem to be more about the parents and their social circle than the bride and grooms social circle,

I was reflecting on some other ethnic wedding traditions, for example, in Vietnamese culture the tea ceremony for the parents is huge and in Mexican culture there are people selected to pay for various parts of the wedding and it is considered to be an honor, in African American culture jumping over the broom is a big tradition, and Jewish folks break the little glass cup and lift the bride and groom on chairs. Catholic folks have to take marriage classes and do a few counseling sessions with the padre before they tie the knot. 

Enclosed is a link that further details Indian wedding traditions

http://www.culturalindia.net/weddings/wedding-traditions/